Blaming Others

Most people know if they have a bad night or a good nights sleep, i find myself waking up most nights and chose to lie in the dark looking outside our windows. It is beautiful if there is a moon shine. we live in the country so we have no street lights, neighbours house lights, security lights that flicker on and off with the movements of cats and no road traffic. This no longer scares me I find comfort in the quietness most nights.

We do however sleep with the radio on, I have a night time moaner, talker and snorer and have on occasions woken myself up talking nonsense in my sleep. He is a snorer with tinnitus and can wake up asking if someone has left a machine running.

I know when I wake what sort of day I’ll have, I have woken with heart racing and teeth gritting together, my teeth will ache from grinding them in stress. How do you have bad days on a farm you may well ask?  Most people think country life is relaxing, and jovial, it is full of loving animals, lush green paddocks, endless beautiful scenery, hours to prepare fabulous meals, wearing aprons and or jeans, boots and hats.

In reality it is very different, if it’s too hot, all the waters need checking 3 times per day as cattle will die within a day if they do not have water. In winter when the grass or paddocks turn green the animals need checking 2 to 3 times per day for bloat, too much green will expand their stomachs (they have 4) and they will literally fall over legs in the air dead. we place magnesium blocks over the place so they can lick them to reduce the risk of bloat. In birthing they can and do require assistance. The farmer is amazing with how he can deliver live cattle and not hurt mother or calf, but it can look like a brutal process with great outcomes.

My biggest gripe is the gap between sale of goods, meaning beef or lamb and payment. We will pay all our local places before anyone else, we do not need another country business closing due to slow sales and bad payers. All country towns and associations try and fund raise for their associations, hospitals, children’s schools, individual causes. I chose my charities now based on how much of my dollar goes to the charity or how much they pay staff to get your dollar. Yet when everything doesn’t pan out who do we blame?

How many head to the blaming the Government? themselves? the Boards that run organisations? or just society in general? are you a doer, get in and help or are you a watcher that stands on the sidelines, never participates but whinges loudly when it fails, or are you the volunteer that gets in helps, works and promotes? I’m the doer, the volunteer, I can work hard and tirelessly to raise funds and awareness and sometimes this isn’t enough or is too much for people and they shut you down. I move onto the next cause. I don’t do it for the praise, me I would like to be thanked as most people do, how do you react when you’re not thanked and appreciated?

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hiding the truth is it a no no

I have arrived at work early thinking I would be able to get my blog done before I start my work, but as usual tiresome Tuesday’s are becoming the norm for me. I had mixed up my times and thought I had an hour from 0800 till 0900 before staff orientation, This is not to be I have mixed it up, but I have missed calculated my time management skills. I do run a diary but over the last couple of days have not looked at it my bad.

When dealing with the truth is hiding it a no no? I often wonder this as there are many things in people’s lives and work life that will reflect the need to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. In the words of Jack Nicholson “you can’t handle the truth’. Most people can’t and in some of my dealings and experiences with this issue, many prefer to hear the gossip truth, if they hear it from a 3rd party most times this is said as gospel. Whereas if you are fronted with it most people only hear what they want and dissect the rest for fodder.

Are we prepared to be ‘affronted’ as I was accused of causing yesterday. I used the word discrimination in a memo and was told this “affronted” a staff member, my response was “uhum” so I achieved my aim. The person this was directed at was the person who took the most offense and that is not surprising considering the memo.  I have asked this person to come back to me and tell me how I could have worded it without being specific to the person it was aimed at and how can we stop this behaviour. To my surprise that person has spoken with me and identified it was directed to them as upon them gleaning support from fellow staff it was found this was not there. I was actually thanked as they are now aware that I was hiding the truth. Should this be the example of not hiding the truth or should we move forward to ‘putting it out there.”

There are many aspects to my job where I have to not disclose people’s names and not just to protect their privacy but to protect them from gossip, bullying and all forms of things we wish not to experience in our work place. I am a protector or secrets, an advocate of rights, the voice of the unconscious and people who are unable to defend themselves and most importantly I wrestle with the fact that I like to treat people the way I would like yet there are times where the truth hidden is a blessing in disguise.