Naked or Not on Social Media.

For some unknown reason – is it just me? I seem to be getting really inappropriate followers and people who want to friend me. I have followers on twitter that post pornographic pictures of women in really inappropriate positions. What is that? mostly men posting them, which is why there is a block button.

The other one that drives me nuts is women posting pictures of themselves naked or in “sexy lingerie” seriously why? firstly I want to congratulate you on staying so fit and healthy all your life. It takes time and effort to continue to look and stay so slim, but keep it for those that appreciate it, I appreciate the effort you have gone to but that’s the limit of my thoughts on how you look, what you are wearing or not wearing, remember I can comment here as I don’t recall inviting you to share your pictures with me. Then the safety net of the block button arrives and I no longer have to see you or read about you and what you want any longer.

I have a person, who I don’t know try and friend me on social media, through the grapevine there is a story to tell about someone else. People obviously do not understand the publication of anything derogatory, threatening or vulgar is defamation and slander, if you print it, say it or share it despite the fact you haven’t written or said it yourself , you are the perpetrator and can be prosecuted.

If you are the jilted lover, lovee or person who had a friend that didn’t want to be your friend anymore then, suck it up. It happens to all of us, it’s called being human, we love, we hurt, we forgive and we move on, what happens in between is sprinkles of happiness, sadness, laughter, tears, regrets and guilt to name a few. People move in an out of our lives, some we wish to keep forever, some we wish we had never met and for reasons you may never know some leave and don’t tell you why. You do recover and in most cases replace with someone else more important and special, but you do work out in the end it’s their loss.

To the “random people” that want to “friend” me to make trouble for people I know, let me tell you I KNOW and whatever it is you wish to share and show me, DON’T ! It makes you as awful a person there is going around.
Take a leaf out of the saying “what other people think about me / you is none of your / my business”.
Move on, enjoy your life without causing trouble for others”, you will not be friended by me. in fact head over and read my blog Unsubscribe https://mytrendingstories.com/article/unsubscribe/
You are the reason I wrote this

 

picture credit marketingmotivator.net

Tears, Drinking, Coping, Drought

I know this is a hard subject to talk about and understand, never alone live through one. As a city girl growing up I watched the TV showing pictures of drought and gave it a passing glance. I have family that grew up and live on the land in QLD and to hear them talk about drought was only in passing conversation. I never understood it and they never expanded upon their lives living it. It is easy to sympathise and empathise but it’s not easy to grasp.

How many stories do we see that we skim over with the title drought, people who have not seen rain in 5 or 10 years or more, looking to the skies for a better season, waiting for a break to put in seed to grow crop, then it doesn’t rain again, bring back livestock that have been moved off or sold for years, but do we understand it?

I don’t think we do, most TV stories concentrate on the farmer, his livestock, livelihood and lack of opportunity to provide for his family but do we really see the impact of the women who live with these men and drought? The pictures on the TV show dry land, farmer looking to the skies a couple of dead animals or a skull, skeleton of an animal but they never illustrate the real toll drought takes.

When do we know it’s a drought, us women behind the scenes? swearing is not a good barometer as farmers swear a lot, at animals, machinery, weather and things but once the land dries up, the bank account shrinks and animals start gathering at fences when they hear cars, utes, trucks and voices the swearing escalates, paddocks look like sandpits this is drought.

Talking to some of my girlfriends today I asked how one is doing, she grimaced and said “Oh my god the swearing, I’m sick of it already, every time he comes in I try to go out. I have asked to increase my days working to earn more money to help get us through.” She is waiting on her boss to give her an answer it looks like her eldest won’t be going off to boarding school as planned next year unless things turn around quickly. She is one of the lucky ones, she works close to her home, has an income and escapes for 3 days per week.

I say I understand, we are buying in feed, her husband has been buying it in for the last 3 months and it is really expensive so they are now de-stocking. For those that don’t know de-stocking means selling or moving every bit of stock off the property either into the market for money or onto another person’s property for agistment (which is also expensive option). Some keep only a small amount of breeders hoping that when it rains it won’t be so expensive to get a bull or ram to impregnate the stock left. If pregnant then there is a time lapse of up to 18 months before the new born can be sold. Imagine how do you live without an income for 18 months or more?

What happens to women in drought? one of the things they do is try to get work off farm, families still have to eat and food costs money. I know of another of my girlfriends who walked into a shopping centre in a capital city and has sat at a coffee table and cried. She cried as she looked around and knew no one would understand her life in that moment, how her troubles were so much on her and everybody else looked fresh and happy. She noticed people looked away from her.

She felt naked, she knew the pants she had on she had sown up the inner legs for the third time, her knickers had holes in them and her top was dated by 3 years. She tugged at her hair and wondered if she had enough money for a hair cut, a colour was way out of her price range, so the greys will keep coming through unchecked. She couldn’t remember the last time she bought herself clothing of any kind. She stirred her real cup of coffee and at $4.80 a cup she felt she was cheating her family, and knew she wouldn’t buying lunch for herself that day but also that $4.80 could have also bought her much wanted knickers and she asked me “one didn’t go into the shopping centres to walk out with just knickers do they?”

I couldn’t answer her as I was thinking No they don’t in times of drought, the farm comes first, children’s needs second, husbands third and if there was anything left over it was the woman’s turn. Having a cup of coffee is normal and I would have chosen to look normal rather than feel abnormal by buying much needed knickers and walking out.

Women work hard to appear ‘normal’ and keep things ‘normal’ while inside they may be feeling anxious, no one sees them walking the house in the dark – it is not insomnia, it is pure stress. Another girlfriend said she walked so much one night around and around the house cleaning that the dog  who faithfully slept on the couch got up and went outside to get away from her, as she found herself talking to it.

She told me it was the only time she felt less stress, as from daylight when the farmer got up in the morning he was rubbing his head and trying to work out what to do for the day. She went to discuss the finances with him once and he said he wasn’t interested so a fight occurred as she made him listen, she didn’t want him at any stage to turn around and say “I wasn’t aware, I didn’t know or WTF?” as things were going from bad to worse. They came to a resolution, she spoke, he listened and things went back to her feeling the full brunt of the declining back account, no solution to the problem so she went to the local town and started cleaning motel rooms.

Women rally, but they do get to a point where they feel they can’t cope but who do they tell? They won’t tell already stressed husbands, if they mention anything to girlfriends in the city, they look sympathic and move on which is not helpful and after a while most women don’t mention it more than once. One said “it is a problem that never goes away and won’t until it rains, stock comes back and farmers are working. How do my city friends even begin to grasp that?” I have no answers either so I listen.

“For me talking about it I feel disloyal to my husband, the farm, my parents in law and all of those hard working people who stay on farm during droughts” said another girlfriend today “so I say nothing but at night after the kids have gone to bed I drink, he hates it but I need to in order to cope.” “I feel so alone in this I can’t tell anyone” said another (as) ” I know once I start talking about it I won’t stop and it will become too real” I say to her “one day at a time” her response “please don’t be another one of those For sure it will rain, we know it will but when no one can answer that.”

I looked at her and said “the one I dislike “it is what it is, I know it is but it doesn’t help me.” She laughed and as we were standing there looking at each other she thanked me for listening and for understanding as she left I said “it will get better, I have another girlfriend who makes sure when she cries she does it in the shower, puts the radio on so no one can hear her and lets the water wash her face and tears away at the same time, when she stops gets out and puts her make up on and starts her day”. She asked me if she knew this person I said it’s all of us, we cope how we can and no one judges us harder than we do ourselves.”

Next time you see that lady sitting in the shopping centre alone, smile at her, assure her she is ‘normal’. She doesn’t need your sympathy or money to buy knickers, she would love money to buy feed, a bale of hay, seed to prepare for cropping, pellets for chooks all of that is foremost on her mind, but she wouldn’t accept it, she would feel rich sitting in nice company drinking her expensive coffee. She would love you to say hello and move on as if she didn’t have a care in the world, but if it’s me, stop and talk.

If you are reading this and need help call lifeline Australia 13 11 14

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Cat, The bat and the farmer

Marrying a farmer has many adventures, living and working together can lead for some interesting times and conversations. Fitting into the farming life for me has been interesting, I can help with most things and do lots but there are things I can’t do.  There are things I have taught myself to do which I never thought I would ever be in the position to have to do it.

There is the removal of spiders from houses and cars, once left to a parent or ignored, when you become a parent you have to do these things and I know “they are more scared of you than you are of them” haven’t we all heard that. It doesn’t help if you have a fear of them, regardless of how big or how small they are, they are awful looking and in my eyes frightening.

We have a house that is very active at night, with 4 cats that come in and out of the cat flap at their will, any time day or night (and they do) The Farmer has been good over the years and worn ear protection with all machinery he has used, but he seems not to have night hearing. I on the other hand can hear most things including cats running across the bedroom floor which is carpeted.

There are times when our house is busier than a shopping centre or main street of our country town with the comings and goings. Over the years we have had a range of animals alive and dead brought into the bedroom. I remember waking up one night to an unusual hissing sound (thankfully not like a snake) and not like the cats hissing at each other. I sleep with a torch by my bed so I flicked that on and shone it towards the sound and there are the four cats all standing around in a circle looking at something. I got up and saw it was a frill neck lizard, some how one of them caught it brought it inside and then it got away, so it was standing there frill up hissing at these four cats, it had no where to go, so I bent down picked it up (carefully) so it wouldn’t bite me and opened our door let all the cats out stepped back closing the door and walked the lizard still hissing, around to the kitchen door and let it go out the back, where no cat saw it. I think for the next hour they came in and out looking for it.

Recently Gatsby the ginger walked into the cat flap with a mouse in it’s mouth, casually strolled up to us, dropped it on the floor and continued on to get to the food bowl. Thinking the mouse was dead I bent down to pick it up and it moved so I had to quickly get it outside before it bite me. Amazing so casually dropped from mouth and walked off.

The farmer is good at getting most things but of late it has been me, a bunny from Rita four nights ago, which got all of the others away from the fire and into the outdoors when I threw it out side so she could continue eating it there. I check the mice they bring in though as they have been catching the little Australian marsupial and if it’s alive we let them go, they are similar in size to the mouse but have rounded ears, I chased one into my gum boot the other day and checked it was one before I let it go.

We have had bats as well, they normally are alive and as they can fly when let go they move quickly towards light, so chasing bats out side has become an interesting art form or lesson in moving quickly. Matilda or Frankie seem to find these and of course they make a noise which brings the rest in so with the release of this bat the farmer jumps up pushes the curtains back to the sliding door and opens it as wide as he can, tells me to get out (which I do) it’s 2am in the morning and chased it until it flew out. We would have made Youtube had it been caught on camera. Cats jumping, women outside in nightie holding a torch freezing and naked farmer chasing a bat out of the bedroom.

Rita, Matilda & Frankie are all sisters, Gatsby is the ring in came 5 years after them

From Top Rita, Matilda & Frankie

From Top Rita, Matilda & Frankie

Gatsby

Gatsby

Yet another nude pregnant celebrity

There have been many after Demi Moore, Britney Spears, Cindy Crawford,Claudia Schiffer, Christina Aguilera, Elle Macpherson, Alessandra Ambrosio, Heidi Klum, Anna Nicole Smith, Jessica Simpson, Katie Price, Anne Heche and Eva Herzigova. Now we can add Megan Gale to this ever-growing list of celebrities that pose naked and pregnant.

There is nothing wrong with the female body nor the pregnant female body it does change shape and form when a child is growing inside it. But lets cast an eye over some of these “ground breaking” covers.

Demi’s was titled “More Demi Moore” a small pun at her growing size on Vanity Fair, Britney’s was just her naked holding her breasts, with beautiful jewellery around her neck on Harper’s Bazaar, but on Vanity Fair the byline was the same “More Britney Spears”. She did it more than once. Mariah Carey did it with twins but it was “All about the Babies” when she did it on Life & Style Weekly magazine. The story and the naked celebrities and magazine titles just changed not the concept.

Marie Claire has a history of putting pregnant naked ladies on their covers, Megan gale is not the first and sadly if their author has her way she will not be the last. It seems if you are in the public eye and pregnant then posing naked for all of us to see is almost expected isn’t it? Does it make you want to run out and buy the magazine? We will see Jackie Frank on sunrise this week saying how stunning she looked, how beautiful she is and isn’t she amazing, so brave to share this much of herself. I can just hear her, it’s not that I disagree, Megan Gale does look beautiful pregnant or not. It’s just that it’s a worn out repetitive concept.

I wonder if any of the above named celebrities would pose for playboy? It is the same thing isn’t it naked is naked? Does putting naked pregnant women on ‘women’s magazines’ count as soft porn? I wonder what the rating is, most ‘adult magazine’s have to be in a plastic cover yet this one is going to be on full display. I am not anti pregnant women nor naked women but one of the newspaper articles states “IT IS a concept that never grows old.” we actually it has.