the in-laws

I have lovely in-laws and I am grateful for their support and presence in my life, but there is always a but isn’t there? They are not your own parents so the faults you see in them you do not see in your own. I spent a lovely sunday with my in-laws, they made the effort to come out to the farm (they also needed stumps for their fire & eggs & flowers) but they came. Both my in-laws are unwell and have been since they retired, we are very lucky they are still with us and I owe that to modern medicine and faith.

They spent the week in Adelaide last week visiting the numerous specialists they now see, cardiologist (both of them) Oncologist (MIL) Plastic Surgeon (FIL) Skin specialist (FIL) Orthopaedic Surgeon (both) and these are just the ones they tell us about. My father in Law is the typical aging farmer – he wore no hat and swam in summer in dams & then when they could afford it a pool without a shirt. He is becoming the poster boy of Basal Cell, Squamous Cell and last week a melanoma. He has grafts to his face and now is waiting the results of this melanoma on his back. They feel lucky as they see the skin specialist annually so this has “come up” in under a year, so it may well be a good outcome. My MIL has had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and has been in remission for over 6 years now but has terrible back aches – she tells me they x rayed her back and she has arthritis of the spine. (ouch)

They enjoy our company  and we there’s but they are not my parents, they are DH which when you marry someone they become part of that family you wish to create. In break up’s some people find it harder to say good-bye to the parents & family not  the partner. I now have to travel to see my parents and this is hard, I miss being part of their weekly lives. If you do not have In laws – some would say you are not missing much, if you do have in-laws that you do not like some would say you are not lucky. But I like mine and their biggest regret is that DH & I never had children together, that is their issue not ours. MIL asked me yesterday would we (DH & I) be interested in purchasing a property in the country town where they live, I have to hold back my instantaneous response of yelling no, instead I say it is a dying town and I have no intention of retiring in it. I also kept my house in Adelaide so that I had a place to go when I am ready to and at this stage it is hard to even find a decent job here, unless you nurse, you are a teacher and the hospital is not employing so that leaves very little to choose from.

I have a small business which due to the economic times is now not doing so well, in fact it is costing me to open it daily, there is no foot traffic, no repeat business and it is positional. I have to make the decision to move it or close it completely. She is shocked by this, which is surprising, there are days when you can look down the main street and there isn’t a car to be seen. We grew up in different eras, she was a teacher who went on to study to become a librarian so was a professional all her life. I moved here due to marriage and now I am struggling to stay, I want to work, that is a topic for another day