I haven’t written for a while, I think over a year now as I’m slack and sometimes what I would like to say I know shouldn’t. I have chosen silence in speech and in writing as the preferred method rather than blog or talk, as our parents say “if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it.” Wise words for all and only some choose to live by this example.
Life took over, and I became time poor and slightly dis-organised, between running a farm, I went back to nursing (for a brief period of time) in the operating theatres, traveling to the city and back, it is all about work life balance isn’t it? Sometimes we have to concede that we can’t do and be all things for people we can only be the best versions of ourselves when we choose to be.
When we do things we know from a very young age that there is consequences for actions be them good or bad. As we progress in life we make conscious choices in actions and deeds that bring good will upon ourselves and each other. Most things we approach with realism and courage, things in life can be daunting and terrifying, taking a leap of faith and rely on others is always a gamble right?
We ask ourselves questions, what if I do something wrong? how can I be honest without hurting a person we like or love? how can we be truthful if we cloud the story or cover it in sugar? Can we be blamed if things go wrong or if the receiver takes it the wrong way? but that’s enough about the person on the giving end, what of the person who has asked for our input are they absolved from blame if it goes pear shaped?
Who or how do they blame you for your input? if they don’t like it does that make you a bad person? does it make you less of a friend? How much do you need to know about the askee to give total honest answers or questions? How do you respond to being blamed for things you have been asked to participate in?
Should you be blamed for others actions? Does one look in a mirror and not see the truth of themselves or others? I haven’t answered any questions here and in-fact I have posed more for myself than I care to think about.
In truth my answer to these questions is do not ask for what you are not prepared to receive. If you are unaware of the personality traits that annoy other people or make them love you, if you can not take advice from colleagues, friends, partners or bosses do not ask. The truth can sometimes be hard to hear or witness, ask as you go along then it may not be such a hard course of action should you find out after events or changes of work places.
I know enough about myself that I know I am divisive, I am opinionated and forthright, this annoys people and staff. I do try and temper it as I am aware this is who I am and people find it difficult. I know my answers are not always correct but I offer them regardless, I have learnt over the years to listen but I still interrupt people when they talk and need to stop to let others finish.
I don’t need others blaming me for things I have no control over, I’m good at self punishment and blame. Mostly I do try and avoid hurting others and if I have done this it’s been unintentional. If I do find out I’m being blamed for something I have been asked to do and came to by way of being asked, I do have a stock standard response. It’s not very lady like and involves me telling the other party what I would like them to do, by way of the F bomb.
Can I handle things better – yes I could but why should I wear another person crap?