I have a dear friend who calls her husband BUB (back up brain) Kate has been diagnosed with early onset dementia and relies on him for many things, follow her blog she is an amazing woman. She has completed a Master’s degree, published poetry, submitted a manuscript and recently been employed by Alzheimer’s Australia, all since she has been diagnosed. Her accomplishments are too great to list here. She also has given up her license, has a carer, has her medications done for her but refuses to give up, so she has a back up and I suspect more than one.
I feel I am my husbands back up, when it comes to paperwork, banks and stuff and sometimes it annoys me. Most people who have a back up may like it (I know in kate’s case she finds it frustrating) but I can find it totally annoying. I am trying to find out about his frequent flyers, yes to transfer them to me to cover the Qantas club membership for the year and he has no pin but they won’t give it to me, they have to speak with him. I said you know he is only going to come in, I’m going to put all of the paperwork in front of him, dial the number and then he will hand over the phone to me, why can’t you rest set to his email and make it easier for me. “But you could transfer all of his points to you.” “that’s the idea I said” David on the other end of the phone “gasped” I said “oh please, don’t tell me I’m the first person to admit that’s what I intend to do” “well um” ” I’m his back up and I can tell you, *@%$!@ have not sent him so much as an email or letter in the last 3 years so don’t go the stunned victim here.” perhaps an over reaction but really?
In speaking with my mother I complained about this after I asked after her health, and she tells me she has a joint thing with my dad and she can’t make calls to that company as he is the major person. I asked her what’s going to happen when he dies? I wonder if she’ll have to send in the death certificate to sort things out. I get protection of people’s privacy and assets but when there is written permission on file for back ups to assist, one would think they should be respected.
Back up means a lot of things I have put in place other back ups should something happen to me and my husband needs to do things he has not done for a while. From this one concludes everyone needs back up, in some shape or form. My greatest wish to my back up is if something should happen to me then please delete al my social media accounts immediately. Most people don’t have a back up nor back up computers till they need one and computers after they crash, I learnt this the hard way, having lost my girlfriends daughter 21st pictures that I hadn’t backed up and still to this day feel terrible about it all. I now back up daily if I do a lot of work and weekly on the main computer. It is also good for preservation for records as part of our fire procedures.