Dependency

This was not the blog I wanted to write this morning, I was going to talk about machinery in farming as my Facebook friends, (farmers) pointed out,I said he was out on the header and they said “harvesting this early?” no actually he seeding so he must have been out on the Air Seeder. I not very good after all this time identifying these useful and expensive pieces of equipment, I get to drive them when he needs a break, move them to re fuel or fill with water to add chemical if it is the boom spray but naming them without assistance isn’t difficult if I think about it. I just lazy and have limited involvement unless I am asked.

We are currently going through the process of getting another bank, as the business has used a grain pay account that the bank is no longer going to support and we have 5 days to find a new one. Of course now, one must consider the fees and charges that have not been with the other account as the farm has had it since the 60’s before banks became corporate and worried more about shareholders than account holders. I have taken over doing the books years ago and this is now a complicated process, it gets harder annually and I have to juggle more than I think. This year with the realisation we will not have children together and with aging parents we need to consider our options so we have changed accountants to accommodate possibilities one doesn’t think about in your twenties, such as death and who would manage the farm or books should something happen to either of us.

The sharing of these decisions opens topics to wishes and wants as we age, a who gets what scenario that perhaps we wouldn’t talk about if this was not a going concern. We both have wills but these were done before we married so we are also looking at renewing them so that our wishes are clear. These things are vital to healthy relationships and aging farmers, many a death occurs where there is no will and it is a nightmare for the person left behind. As this is a family business owned by three people, I am not a part of it, but would like my interests to be considered should he die before the other family members and what people say in life and do after death can be to different things. We have all seen this side of human nature, when one considers they are ‘owed’ more than the other.

Here is where we depend on each other, not to be generous but to be fair and kind to each other without excluding the others. We have talked about what to do with pets as we both know should he go before me, I will sell and leave the farm, if I should go before him he would stay but I would expect my daughter’s interests to be put first. Now this is clear it makes moving into our middle years easier to deal with and plan for. Being on a farm one becomes dependent on the other for many things including social interaction, happiness, respect of opinion and all things in between. It also makes an argument harder to not work through, one can not go to work and forget about it, nor can one meet up with girlfriends have the coffee session ‘compare notes’ and move on, one learns to become honest and say how the other made you feel, confronting yet it is a quick and easy way to move on. One soon learns the art of sharing. Dependency isn’t a bad thing nor is it a good thing, at times I feel the constraints as I am sure he does and at others it gives freedom to be open and real.

 

One thought on “Dependency

  1. Dear fellow blogger, and thank you for returning to this weird and wonderful world of ideas and words!! I have been through your issues, and strongly recommend you not only revise your wills, but enusre you have EPOA, EPOG and Medical Directives clearly laid out too. Saves the stress of later on when you might be faced with a serious illness. Our lawyer also advised us to ensure the children, once over the age of 18 must have at least the Medical Directives done, as you as a parent no longer have any legal rights if by some awful misfortune, they ended up incapacitated and required interventions such a resuscitation, ongoing treatment for health issues, insurance claims, etc.Honesty, respect and loyalty to the ones you love is the most important in all of this. Well done for even tackling the issues. xo

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