saying yes when you meant to say no

I have always thought I was a strong person but at some stage in my life, I can’t even recall when i started doing it perhaps I always did but I can’t pinpoint the incident when I said yes and knew I meant to say no. I have thought about it a lot as I sometimes feel I could kick myself for putting me in the situation where I don’t want to be. It’s terrible and I am sure I am not alone with this practice. I hear this voice coming from my mouth that says yes and my head is saying no, sometimes the action is there as well, it is not a nod of the head but a shake as you hear yourself saying yes. There are pages and pages on this topic in google so it must be that we all do it at sometime in our lives.

I find myself in a situation where most times I can now use the distant card (300km from CBD of Adelaide) to beg off from doing things I don’t want to do but sometimes distance is also the reason why I can’t get there and feel I miss out. But I wonder sometimes when I feel at a low ebb or happy to connect with someone who I find myself saying yes when I KNOW I meant no. We all strive to maintain friendships and business connections so sometimes we are calculating in our response of saying yes. In this instant it is to further a career, get out of a rut, expand our lives or just generally to increase our profile,

In a social setting or in the art of getting acceptance we say yes. There are many parents on their children’s school committees that I am sure that are there as they want to say no but feel a duty to the organisation that is looking after their child or children or want to help smooth the way through the years of schooling by getting involved so say yes. Being part of a group or committee makes saying yes a bit more pleasurable and it is important to children that parents are involved in the school, I remember doing canteen and the delight on my daughters face when she saw me there. By being involved in groups or organisations means a different network of people.

In doing what I do for the Keith Hospital I have been asked to do many things, be media spokesperson for the group when we have protested. I have been asked to take on tasks that have put me front and centre of the Keith Hospital campaign. I have organised and rallied groups to keep our campaign alive and in the forefront of media and the general public. Though our fight is still ongoing and getting desperate daily we are slowly sinking into an abyss that may or may not lead to extinction. I am fighting to fight as hard as I can to prevent this happening but it may be futile. In doing this it puts you at risk of criticism, personal attack, back stabbing and gossip. It is not a nice place to be and it is slowly wearing me out. I have been asked to run events when I have no clue and wanted to say no but felt obligated to say yes. It has done me no favors, it has made some ungrateful and selfish.

We have a new CEO at the Keith Hospital who started this week and I am quickly growing to like him enormously. I find him approachable, he sits in his office with an open door and is inclusive and consultative in his manner. I am currently acting DON (Director of Nursing)  which was one of these I wanted to say No but yes came out of my mouth. It has shocked some in Keith as many are unaware I am a triple certificated RN currently (very slowly) doing my Masters in Health Admin and still practising.

I have been invited to a Business Development Meeting with a friend who does Amway and found myself saying yes when I meant no. Luckily for me it is the same time I have to run a daughter around to one of her friend’s wedding. But here I sit knowing this and can’t bring myself to call my friend and tell her. It is not her fault it is mine, it is nice catching up with her as she has recently moved back from Kangaroo Island but it wears me out. I don’t want to sell Anyway it is one of those party plans that puts people off side. But that is a topic for another day. I hope this week I can say no more times than yes but smoothing the way is a priority when we need to keep the Keith Hospital alive. So when I ask for help, send someone from your organisation to the Arkaba Ladies High Tea, April 20th 2012 details at


One thought on “saying yes when you meant to say no

  1. There is a wonderful book you ought to read… ‘Say NO to guilt’… it is wonderful, and helps you work through the guilt of saying no, then guides you on how to say it, mean it, and not offend anyone by your having said it. This also stops you every having to use ‘vague’ excuses for not atending or doing something, wonderfully liberating. It also means you can occasionally say yes when you mean no, and that’s ok for the very odd occasion.

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