my awake thoughts

I have now taken to sleeping approx 4 hours per night, I know the reason for this but can not stop it. There are outside environmental things that contribute to this and I know I am not alone in having awful sleep times. I blame many aspects of my life for this and many things in it, one of them is the Golden Retriever Pete. Since he relocated himself to the farm, my DH got in a single bed mattress and placed it at the foot of our bed so that is where he sleeps. He has taken to waking up about this time and walking to our sliding door to either look out or to be let out. I hear him do this mainly as one of the shed cats Matilda walks with him meowing at him as he goes. She is exceptionally close to Pete, she has taken to sleeping up near his head every night and bringing him presents (occasionally half a rabbit, a mouse or any other morsel she feels he needs).

I get up to check on him and let him out so I lie awake until he comes back to be let in otherwise he lets out an enormous bark that has my heart racing for hours. I also wake because DH rolls or flip-flops a lot. he does not wake up but he does roll over, I shall be purchasing a King Size bed soon as I feel I am being pushed out and it drives me nuts. I like sleeping by the open door as I seem to heat up during the night and if the door isn’t open I have woken because I dream I am cooking in an oven (no ageist comments allowed here 🙂 ) I have even gotten up and showered to cool down even on mind nights.

I wake because my mind is active with all things, daughter, family, friends, Keith Hospital    issues, planning meetings doing agendas, up skiling myself and how on earth do I fit all I do in the day light hours. I use to get up and walk said Golden retriever every day winter or summer on the beach and found this was a great way to meditate, I have not done this for years due to his aging condition. he is coming up 15 and struggles to walk the KM’s I use to. I now leave all my clothes in the bathroom, get dressed and sneak out before he knows I am gone, that is the advantage of him having significantly diminished hearing, he does not hear me  quietly close the door. He has looked perplexed on occasions when I have arrived home and woken him.

I worry, I think, I stress and whilst saying this I have realised I have not taken my blood pressure medication this morning – drat! I have a Keith Hospital Action group meeting tonight so will not be home before 830pm, I hope I have the scripts in the car. I hope my minds stops soon as my body is beginning to feel the effects of 4 mornings in a row and 11 hour work days. Enjoy the nights and the days

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