sibling rivalry

I spent some time with a friend this morning who doesn’t get on with her sister, this is sad for them both. I love both my sisters and enjoy their company though we are all different, we are family. I have often felt sad for my daughter who has no siblings and I think she would have loved being part of a bigger picture. This relationship has fractured so much she can not see her way to ever coming back to visit again. This is sad for everybody, children will miss out on their aunty and mostly they will both miss out on each other.

What drives us to the point where we do not understand nor tolerate other people? can we see our own faults and dislikes in others or do we just not see that we have faults. The question was asked is it me or her. This is difficult for me to answer as I love them both and I told them I felt sad that they had a mother who played them off against each other and they were never able to heal the jealously, hide the resentment and have a ‘normal’ sisterhood. She agreed, she remembers times when they use to blame each other for misdeeds and the mother would ignore the other or perceived ‘bad’ girl for 1 or more days and lavish affection and outings on the so-called ‘good girl’. This can not be healthy to either growing up. The mother then also surrender them for 12 or more months to be cared for by a reputable orphanage, till she bothered to come back and get them. The seed was sown at an early age, sadly and here she was in her 60’s upset at herself, the situation and her life. It takes her hours on the plane to get here and I think this will be the last time we see her in Australia for a visit, that is upsetting but nothing I can do about it.

I keep remembering to love often, laugh lots and forgive each other your own faults. I would miss my sisters should they choose to step out of my life, it would be too much to bear.